Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas. The Epitome of Time and Energy Loss Related to Consumerism.

We all have our own ways to celebrate or cope, especially after Thanksgiving passes by and we head to the Christmas Season. Along with Santa, Christmas brings lights, tripping, fantastic, customs, gatherings and tidings of joy.

Perception is key, but this time of year can be fun. TTOY can be considered magical, fanciful and delightful complete with carriage rides through the city. People do find themselves affected in some manner around this recognized "holiday season" but again, these affects can be uplifting and inclusive or can manifest as melancholy feelings and induce separation. With the latter pair comes confusion. The former allows good connections, positive interactions and is life affirming.

Keep it in perspective, but seriously, ask a real question during this holiday season: Did you actually have to spend all that money on stuff? Largely for people that probably don't really need that particular stuff to survive? What else could that time, energy, money and emotion have produced?

Some of it is legit because, yes, the holidays bring people together. The holidays' existence and acknowledgment can allow for deep personal meaning to be ascribed to an object, event, person or string of words. Very special, real and intimate things, all of them. Things that are and will become important. This deep personal meaning, shared or solitary, can be found in certain physical objects, memories, photos or even a scent or glance if it is embraced as it comes along.

Fingers, guitar fretboard, chord.
Music Flows From Her Fingers.

I think the true Christmas Season begins when the malls start piping in holiday music.

We breathe in the familiar scent and we allow ourselves to see the connection and feel the meaning. In this instance our nose facilitates the deja vu. We are right back somewhere, sometime and with someone. After all, being at the place the memory was formed makes us a participant in the creation due to the joining of two souls. Not a baby this time, but a memory was created. An image or set of images (physical or not) that can be recalled to enjoy the time again.

Say I planted a tree with a friend in my front yard. We took pictures and invited people over to help us figure out what kind of tree it is. People came and saw the tree but we didn't get its name. The people coming by, the pictures we took and the continued existence of the tree are all physical proofs that the interplay between my friend and I (and this tree) happened. Two people dug a hole and planted a tree. Other people not only saw us dig and plant, but years later people walk by the tree and acknowledge the tree. If we had not planted that tree no one/nothing else would get to interact nor enjoy it in any fashion. Still though, dogs pee on the tree even as birds perch on the tree. It is a good tree. 

My friend and I form memories of the planting in our own ways for recollection purposes, however the actual planting of and existence of the tree is never in doubt. The memories are special because of the pure connection found when matching energies exist. Our time together was special, therefore it is remembered as such. Meanings are attached to the digging, the tree, the person, the lawn, the house, the street, the day of the year...Each attachment is as deep, vast and colorful as it is tangible to the individual.

There is meaning in all we do. How we spend our time is the ultimate measure of our involvement in the project at hand, whether it be spending time with a person, going out, cleaning up, calling mom, etc. The energies we create through our actions and mannerisms speak very loudly as ultimately our true intentions will shine through. Eye contact, active listening, warm and welcoming body language, honest and thought out responses; all these things show a bit about intent. Genuine attentiveness and warmth can not be falsely achieved and will be called out by even the youngest of children. This genuineness also helps you become a good gift giver if you pay enough attention and let the energy in.

Is a handwritten note more powerful than a Tyrannosaurus Rex?   

On Xmas eve I was standing in line at CVS in Eastown waiting to pay for my purchases. I was not christmas shopping, but it was one of the very few places open. I was just picking up a few overpriced items (I am not innocent in all this, I do realize that) and noticed a woman holding two colorful, plastic and cheaply made dinosaurs. In that instant I was struck by the thought of her taking these toys home, removing the price tags, wrapping them in tissue, dropping them in a stocking, and ultimately being somehow pleased that her $7.92 spent will provide the "gift's" recipient five minutes of "something" during the unveiling on xmas a.m proper. Will these dinosaurs convey the message she is attempting to convey? One hopes so.

Of the many outcomes possible after the dinosaurs officially change hands, we hope it is pure joy and elation. Perfect gifts for the perfect kid(s). Good for the giver and receiver; I mean who doesn't love to hang with a T-Rex from time to time? These toys may match the theme of the kid's room or something else positive and logical. Maybe not. If it is a well themed gift, then that is an out for her, a partial escape, but still she did not leave unscarred.

Will the toys be acknowledged after the newness and shiny colors wear thin? Might they be pushed in a corner? Might they collect dust and sit ignored for years? Might they become a quick afterthought in the midst of all the gift wrapped stimuli? Will the child be able to associate the gift with the giver? It may not mean anything now, but memories remain. Memories shape us. Memories soothe us.

I submit that this woman's money, time, efforts and energy should have resulted in a much more meaningful gift. A much more honest representation of her acknowledgement that a token is necessary to convey her message.

Her time spent getting to CVS, searching the aisles for a suitable gift for its intended recipient, waiting in line to pay, paying, potentially taking the steps I outlined above, lions and tigers and bears, oh my...phew, could amount to a block of time as great as a couple hours. 120 minutes. 

Purchasing something other than non-domestic made riff-raff-disposable-re-gifting tchotchkes would be a great start. Taking a few moments to tune in and recognize the perfect thing when it shows itself. A hand written note, teddy bear or anything as long as it is not those goddamned dinosaurs and the waste they represent. Her time, her money, her time spent earning the money she spent, gas, etc.

Are we all not partially at fault since the butterfly's wings flap as we exhale into the night?

What gift would best convey endearment, age no matter? 

Is it an endearment of sorts you are trying to communicate? Through one of your love languages? 

Is it a color? A word? A symbol of something else? A truth? A message?

Passing along information in an attempt to lift some veils and expose half truths? 

Trying to convey your Love through the passing along of material things can get convoluted quickly. It is similar to the attempt of texting huge thoughts, inflections or silly voices. Potentially lost in translation and easily confused. Be careful and invest yourself accordingly. 

An object that you can pass the message into and trust it says everything you wish to pass along? Can you find that gift? 

When tongue tied and twisted how are you able to see a person through their fog? Through your own fogs? What then do you gift them?

Whatever you believe, don't be shy with it. 

Thanks for reading. Enjoy the week.


Saturday, December 15, 2012


Very Recent. Late Night. 

Handwritten with a brilliant pen.

I learned no s is needed for multiku.


Thought I'd be better.
A yawn approaches your mouth;
hide it with the hand.


You open a book.
The first three words you see might
spell it out for you.


The ether sends words.
Grab one, two, fifteen or six
as a puppeteer.


You see that color?
It can be heard if you slow...
The prism vibrates.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A Poem About Criminally Responsible Broccoli. Funny YouTube video transcription via PechaKucha Grand Rapids.

After discovering PechaKucha through my friend Sue Stauffacher, a local author of children's books, I was very fortunate to be a part of a recent event. 

PechaKucha Grand Rapids is organized largely by Rob and Dan Terpstra. They do an amazing job and are very gracious hosts. For much more background info about PK and how it wound up in Grand Rapids, please see The Rapidian article or my repost of the same.

Finding the YouTube Interactive Transcript Button
The bullshit has stopped.

I recently discovered that YouTube somehow offers a voice transcript of the audio. The resulting strings of words are pretty whacked out and do not make much sense. I talked pretty fast during this presentation having not realized just how quickly 20 seconds can go by, so the transcript is garbled and disjointed. It is humorous as well and does not really flow. I took a few of the choice words and phrases from the top and fashioned a poem of sorts.

one bad thing about nothing

he said it

he, anytime
he, the do-gooder 
and and and and and did you see anything?

citizen, citizen, love all things beautiful
it is seeking the emergency hands 
there shouldn't be tensions

consciousness revolution

Not so bad really. The power of editing shows its prowess...

Here is the whole text. Very strange strings of words follow:

0:01did you manage use the capital
0:06cytosine historical resonance president aristede active
0:11one bad thing about nothing
0:13don't usually see anything india
0:16he said it
0:19vacation initiate image
0:33and and and and and did you see anything candidate
0:38brian mccarthy
0:40now is the first initial of candidates that
0:47korea alone
0:49homepage usual
0:51citizen citizen love all things beautiful
0:55it is seeking the emergency hands tensions there shouldn't be an axe
1:03he the
1:22do-gooders consciousness revolution
1:28criminally responsible broccoli
1:31millions towards
1:33as well so it is an outstanding groundswell close-knit community at
1:38zero removed but not contact out of the real world not just a minute that
1:42neither of these days
1:45that ten percent
1:49has been to us
1:51eight years
1:54age twenty nine and ten of your life cars rationing
1:57online cabin for a long time alcohol drugs confusion on my sexual orientation
2:02sylvia stilettos
2:06footage this change
2:08we're hearing a lot
2:09formidable should stop two years ago
2:12on very fortunate that my eyes heart and soul
2:15reminder that there is beauty everywhere introduction
2:19connection self-imposed nature
2:22pas communication with joe
2:24knows that i think you're saying
2:26with all that we come
2:28i sell my house ireland
2:31an after-the-fact shit
2:34and all of the world but it was outside our house
2:37i can see the telephone line from china
2:41violet light pricing beauty
2:45super star or similar
2:46trees pages yeah
2:49this young girl you know this guy forgets what this and
2:56joined our cities you are not the only options so enjoyable to live by the last
3:01upheavals models we'll continue to seek answers most north
3:05the status quo
3:07department rules
3:08for change of being movements tons of stuff
3:11do you think this is an evening we hooked up
3:14there is
3:15organizations on uses that was used by me
3:18when i was in prison
3:19controlled methods dies the raw fat and ugly and must change we are
3:25really but let me put it exactly what we should be don't know
3:31there since the five million
3:35uinervtisy several states
3:37how is that when the system which is not responsible for developing long-term
3:42hezbollah position in words and addiction deluge of seventy eight
3:47two small people being smarter than is concerned
3:50get a job to work together
3:53testing trial fashion that or walking wealthy
3:57forbidden last april the detainees hai
4:08a lot of people
4:09this is dangerous stuff in nineteen forty five
4:11credit began presenting worldnet point to the public water
4:16details you know the consulted
4:18there for him by its ability to produce national capitals whichever lyricism
4:23this includes wm
4:25and it hurts the motel
4:28nato visit
4:29japanese wording migration
4:31families the intrinsic
4:33well all that
4:35to her in a system that's helpful
4:38i was a little more conduct nato still lives
4:41neuroticism forgot results successful
4:45alice paul's blog that you've reviewed
4:47complex clear
4:49totalitarian here w
4:51is that they're hot houses have died
4:54ourselves look at the white in assistance reasons and purposes
4:58we we integrate into marketable forest fires
5:03presentable and ten years in power
5:06the vatican
5:07irrelevant very well logos that jim baker told me to sleep disorder
5:11millions of people see every year
5:13if you realize that they can choose
5:15visible in plain sight
5:17disease as a joke as a reminder that they have lots of something
5:21in one point two billion catholics was more open
5:25what is it is for you
5:28of more than a natural
5:29hasn't seen a special celebration rose for my because this ensures
5:34accountability represented
5:36is missing the numbers below
5:38finality suits
5:40vintners also
5:42televisions aggressively using reasonably comes down
5:45in iowa
5:51racist racist line
5:53back to the source
5:55colossal dealers any of the necessity of dissecting
5:59this interactions and life experiences film to look for
6:06beauty obama's that really look different receipt naka bluntly
6:10must continue to question caterpillar fear
6:13that is the only thing
6:14n_r_a_ and that the arkansas boston we are in control of reality only us we
6:19always have everything you have the right in front of us disney movie goers
6:25more beauty
6:26more until at least five three nine oh one reminder
6:30mojitos and shed
6:32and i quote rejoicing as desired dr
6:35everything i do there's no place for fear
6:38fears about fits into a pre-existing
6:41removing fear focusing
6:43criminal society thousands of miles depending
6:48northeast asia truman weeks later
6:51only create our reality your reaction
6:54to anything if she was physically
6:56mentally and emotionally monuments and avenues that was the night was yours
7:01who i am here we did was to be superman's ultimately when you decide
7:06mundu twenty four hours
7:09who both dot all the best
7:11post-season equal size
7:14mason and others in oregon
7:16i don't bother
7:17last year so that's all for hours and hours and hours and hours
7:27well it like
7:29took another dive
7:30here's all that
7:33julian bashing he was not a lot of
7:37vehicles are sympathetic
7:39we must the starter we must not be retrieved by southeast serbia
7:44we must not allow herself to be passive animosity pgs they live in new york more
7:54are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe who they are free
7:59detects life
8:01artisans allahu existence
8:03and that truth
8:04today is the realization
8:06up our own automatons rappers law questioning the status quo about it
8:11later life
8:12favour anesthesia
8:14jenifer fear incomes the evidence

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Chaos. Sleeping. Showers. Writing. Dreaming. No rules. Vivid Dreams.

Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos.Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos.

I had a dream that there was chaos; chaos everywhere. 

In this dream I was only able to enjoy life while doing one of three things: sleeping, showering, writing. There were no rules or ramifications while engaged in any of these activities. The whole world would stop and I could not be touched by anyone, anything or any outside influences. No perceptions of problems, stress, worries, nor responsibility exist (t)here.

These three things are all I want to do in this dream. Standing under the shower for ten or twenty or ninety minutes, finally warm. I was not eating anyway, so of course I would be cold. Caffeine and nicotine can only take me so far, but here I can be warm for ever. I don't have to think about my skin, my rent, my life, my lack of such and such...

Who the fuck reads this shit anyway?
Yet to find out...
In this dream I feel a lack of permanence permeating the air. I am ever drifting, time stops and I can not feel which leg is crossed over the other. My fingers become a spider on the keyboard, a support for my neck, and wash behind my ears. I can shower anywhere, sleep anytime and write a novel a day for four decades. No matter where, I can write. Pen and ink, keyboard, sticky notes in my mind. Where does it go? Where does it wind up?

Who the fuck reads this shit anyway?

At least I am clean. Who wants to be stinky in a dream?

At least I am warm.

How is it I can be asleep for 8 hours and feel like it is forever? Why does it seem that it has only been a second since I closed my eyes? But dammit, sometimes I am awake.

In this dream I write. I write a lot, but it goes nowhere. I get attached, as though there is an umbilical cord connecting my brain to the words forming on the screen. Where they come from I do not know. Sometimes they make a lot of sense and flow, and flow, and all add up.

At least I have coffee and cigs. Nicotine. Caffeine. Delicious and dangerous. Always seem best when paired together... Good to know that my vices exist in full force even while dreaming.

I feel pulled in so many directions while sleeping and dreaming these other lives and experiences, but when I do write the focus is there.  As measured time is never referenced, tunnel vision takes on a whole new meaning since all that exists are the words on the screen.

The channel is automatic. The filter is automatic. The engagement is lacking. Lol.

There are times when I get so exhausted from a writing session I have to sleep in my dream. Or take a shower in my dream. When I do catch the playful muse, or channel my Awen, writing becomes a fanciful delight. It is swift, it flows, and the strange mathematical equations the words produce actually do have sums. These sums are full and round numbers. These sums are their own reciprocals. The fractions they equal are neither vulgar nor common. It becomes easy to break down the parts and deconstruct to reconstruct and learn.

The source of inspiration is always near. Even while dreaming it is impossible to escape the true source of influence and motivation. It is in me, it is drawn from her and it exists everywhere. I carry it close as it is but a breath away. Because it pulls and pushes so mightily, I have to ignore the Muse's bright light from time to time, but it is here; it is always.

On/off. Left/right. Black/white. Up/down. Boy/girl. Stop/go. Yes/no.

Put me back in the middle please. I want to wake up.